Medication management in Alzheimer's care is the ultimate trial and error exercise. There is no cure. The name of the game is slowing disease progression and managing symptoms. Prescriptions are written based on hypotheses and degrees of certainty, not on absolutes. There are none of those and …
I Moved Mom to Memory Care. Now I Regret It.
Under the cover of the quarantine, I moved Mom to memory care. And I loathe myself for it. In spite of my boundless regret, I know I did it for the right reasons. It’s the best option for Mom. Courtesy of Alzheimer’s Disease, the (wonderful) support provided in standard assisted living was no …
Art and Science and My Dementia Caregiving Experience
Blending art and science saved my caregiving life and allowed me to help Mom live hers. I was slowly drowning throughout the first year after Mom's official diagnosis. My caregiving to-do list was steadily crowding everything else out of my head and I felt powerless to stop it. Primary care …
My Confession: Dementia, Caregiving, and Resentment
Resentment is my strongest caregiving emotion (lately). I’ve hated dementia from the day we met but over time have acquired a resentment for caregiving. Like you acquire a taste for coffee, I’ve acquired disdain for caregiving. I’m ashamed to say it but am sick of hiding from it. Hiding it and …
Dementia and Our Vicious Circle of Guilt
How do you break the vicious circle of dementia’s guilt? We didn’t invite dementia into our lives but it’s here to stay. The wretched disease is an unwanted house guest that refuses to leave. As if its presence wasn’t enough dementia has given our family, and close to 6 million others in the …
The Day I (Really) Became Mom’s Caregiver
This was the day I officially became Mom's caregiver. The alarm woke me at 5:30. Outside, it was cold, dark and quiet, a typical mid-October morning. As quickly and quietly as I could, I hit the shower, grabbed some breakfast and got on the road. It was a Wednesday morning, but I wasn’t going to …
I Feel Like A Failure
Caregiving makes me feel like a failure. I’ve always been afraid of failure. I haven’t always known that about myself, but now I do. It's been said that living through a difficult time provides perspective. For better (hopefully) or for worse, you come out on the other end seeing things a bit …
Choice of Words Matters in Dementia
Choice of words matters. Lots. We know this in the broader context of life. But when it comes to how we refer to or communicate with or describe people living with dementia (PLWD), less so. To explain what I mean, why I think it matters, and what I (and we) can do about it, I’ll back …
The First Time Mom Didn’t Recognize Me
Picking up the phone to tap the first contact in my 'favorites,' a familiar little pang shot through my chest. The phone has been an ongoing source of difficulty for Mom, and each time I call, I get that little pang. And then my palms get a little sweaty and my heartbeat quickens. Not a lot, just …
