At a time when our dementia world seemed to be growing darker by the day, waking up to the importance of non-verbal communication gave me light. I wish I had realized it earlier, for Mom and Steve’s sake (as well as my own), but for right now, like everything else on this journey, I’m thankful to …
What is Hospice? Now I Really Know.
What is hospice? If I were asked this question three months ago, my answer would have been one word. Scary. Because until recently, all I knew about hospice was that it was associated with the end of someone’s life. And death has scared me for as long as I can remember. My first …
One Caregiving Question I Can’t Shake
The caregiving gift I want but know I can never have is certainty. I’ve learned to live with it for the most part, with the exception of one question. One lingering, at times haunting, question. See, my dementia caregiving days are full of questions with no certain answers. Only assumptions, …
To The Person In The Starbucks Parking Lot: I’m Sorry
Sometimes we just need to say 'I'm sorry', so here goes. Dear Person in the Starbucks Parking Lot, It wasn’t you, it was me. And I’m sorry. You probably remember, but last Friday was a bright and sunny day that felt more like October than early January. The parking lot at our Starbucks is …
A Letter To Mom
Dear Mom, You are the best dementia fighter I know. Dementia doesn’t define you, it’s just (a small) part of your story. Your love and determination to live life, your best life, make that so. But even the best fighter has a bad day here and there. Even Muhammad Ali lost the occasional fight …
Age in Place at Home or Move to Senior Living? What’s Right For You is All That Matters
Should Mom age in place at home or move to an assisted living community? The question was my caregiving version of the chicken or the egg. A fundamental and philosophical question forced on us by Alzheimer’s a few years ago. We didn't have a say in the matter but this much was clear: Mom needed …
Three Words Drastically Improved Our Life With Dementia
Mom’s life with dementia is the ultimate team effort. Lindsay, my uncle, Mom’s friends, the wonderful staff at her assisted living community and I are all part of Mom's team--with important roles to play. Mom’s demeanor is our scoreboard. Her smiles and laughs are the trophies we play for. In …
My Caregiver Bright Side(s)
We don't hear about it often, I don't even think about it often, but there is a bright side to caregiving. Much of the current public dialogue on caregiving is, and should be, focused on the toll that caring for a loved one takes on the carer--and how we can, as a society, better support those in …
Here’s How I’m Getting Rid of Dementia’s Holiday Stress in 2019
Good riddance dementia’s holiday stress. This is the year that I vanquish you. You snuck in the side door a few years ago, uninvited, along with dementia. But I’m onto you now. As I look back on the last few holiday seasons, I see the error of my ways. I see you now I played right into your …
