Picking up the phone to tap the first contact in my 'favorites,' a familiar little pang shot through my chest. The phone has been an ongoing source of difficulty for Mom, and each time I call, I get that little pang. And then my palms get a little sweaty and my heartbeat quickens. Not a lot, just …
Dementia Is…
Dementia is… Evil Cruel Unfair Wicked Ruthless Merciless Unrelenting Wrecking ball These are the words that would rush out of my mouth if I were ever somehow locked in a dark room, strapped to a chair and forced to play dementia word association. You could pick any bleak …
To The Person In The Starbucks Parking Lot: I’m Sorry
Sometimes we just need to say 'I'm sorry', so here goes. Dear Person in the Starbucks Parking Lot, It wasn’t you, it was me. And I’m sorry. You probably remember, but last Friday was a bright and sunny day that felt more like October than early January. The parking lot at our Starbucks is …
The Blessing and Curse of Routine in Our Caregiving Life
Routine is a blessing and a curse in our caregiving life. It keeps us sane and drives us crazy. It is our double-edged caregiving sword. Every day we live by it and some days we think we’ll die from it. In Mom’s case, it goes something like this: We speak before breakfast, usually around …
A Letter To My Pre-Caregiving Self
If I were to write a letter to myself before caregiving, here's what I'd write. Dear Matt, You can do this. The caregiving road you’re about to walk will be at once the scariest, saddest, most stressful, and most beautiful journey you’ll ever make. But you can do this. I know it seems …
The Ugly Truth of My Caregiver Burnout (and How I Fight It)
This is the truth of my caregiver burnout. Hard to recognize, harder to solve, and impossible to run from. It is frightening, lonesome, ugly and all mine. The world around me continues to move along but I am defeated. Mentally and physically defeated, unable to muster the required effort to …
The Mousetrap: Online Reviews of Senior Living and Care Providers
Online reviews of senior living and care providers should be about people helping people. But instead they’re mouse traps. A partially exposed review serves as the bait while the required check-box and fine print are the spring waiting to snap the snare shut. When the box is checked and the …
In Caregiving: Balance > Positive Attitude
Nothing is secret about the importance of a positive attitude. In life and most definitely in caregiving. For the most part, the summer of 2019 was a stretch of relatively (it’s all relative when it comes to caregiving) smooth sailing for Ro and for Steve and for all of us who care for them. But …
Dementia’s Stigma: The Healthcare System Perpetuates It Too
The dementia patient isn’t giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. -Unknown The neurologist’s office is an oasis for Mom and me. It’s an oasis in the middle of the desert of dementia’s stigma. The office itself is small-ish and largely unmemorable. It’s located in …
