The relationship between Mom, her dementia, and her grandchildren is beautiful, sad, and frustrating all at once. It's like New England weather--complicated. And also like New England weather, it is ever changing, whether I want it to or not. Shortly after seven o’clock on a recent Tuesday night, …
One Thing You Can Do Today to Help the Caregiver in Your Life
Want to know one thing you can do today to help the caregiver in your life? Listen. Just listen. Simple, right? In some ways, yes. In others? Not so much. But it is one thing you can do to help the caregiver in your life more than you’ll ever realize. And you can do it today. A quick …
Dementia and Our Vicious Circle of Guilt
How do you break the vicious circle of dementia’s guilt? We didn’t invite dementia into our lives but it’s here to stay. The wretched disease is an unwanted house guest that refuses to leave. As if its presence wasn’t enough dementia has given our family, and close to 6 million others in the …
Magnum P.I. and My Search for Assisted Living
What did Magnum P.I. have to do with my search for assisted living? A cool helicopter, fast cars, tons of action--I loved Magnum PI as a kid. It was one Dad’s favorites, and before long, I couldn’t get enough either. I loved how Thomas always found a way to get the bad guys, how his mustache …
Art and Science and My Dementia Caregiving Experience
Blending art and science saved my caregiving life and allowed me to help Mom live hers. I was slowly drowning throughout the first year after Mom's official diagnosis. My caregiving to-do list was steadily crowding everything else out of my head and I felt powerless to stop it. Primary care …
Mom, Her Brother, and Her ‘Friend’
This is an update to Welp….Mom Met A Man at Her Senior Living Community, which was originally posted on December 6, 2018. **Update** A few weeks later, Mom remains delighted and as a result, I am too. She and Friend continue to spend time together. I haven’t learned much more about him other …
My Confession: Dementia, Caregiving, and Resentment
Resentment is my strongest caregiving emotion (lately). I’ve hated dementia from the day we met but over time have acquired a resentment for caregiving. Like you acquire a taste for coffee, I’ve acquired disdain for caregiving. I’m ashamed to say it but am sick of hiding from it. Hiding it and …
The Blessing and Curse of Routine in Our Caregiving Life
Routine is a blessing and a curse in our caregiving life. It keeps us sane and drives us crazy. It is our double-edged caregiving sword. Every day we live by it and some days we think we’ll die from it. In Mom’s case, it goes something like this: We speak before breakfast, usually around …
Choice of Words Matters in Dementia
Choice of words matters. Lots. We know this in the broader context of life. But when it comes to how we refer to or communicate with or describe people living with dementia (PLWD), less so. To explain what I mean, why I think it matters, and what I (and we) can do about it, I’ll back …
